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Traditionally associated with familial unity and gratitude, Thanksgiving can present unique challenges for separated parents. The pressure to ensure children’s happiness during this time and the emotional strain of the separation can create a tense atmosphere. The situation can become even more complex when children resist or refuse to see one parent. This blog post will provide practical strategies to help you navigate the challenges of enforcing parenting time during this often contentious season.
Understanding Parenting Time Arrangements
Parenting time (access) arrangements outline how separated parents will share responsibilities for their child’s care, including time-sharing. These arrangements can be informal agreements between the parents, court-ordered, or part of a separation agreement.
Parenting time arrangements typically include the following:
- Parenting Time Schedule: This section specifies when each parent will have the child with them. It may include details such as specific days of the week, weekends, holidays, and special occasions.
- Decision-Making Responsibilities: Parenting time arrangements may also address decision-making responsibilities (formerly known as “custody”) for the child, such as medical care, education, and extracurricular activities.
- Communication and Dispute Resolution: The arrangement may include provisions for communication between the parents and a dispute resolution process in case of disagreements.
- Child’s Best Interests: Parenting time arrangements are always made with the child’s best interests in mind. The court will consider factors such as the child’s age, maturity, and emotional well-being when determining the appropriate parenting time schedule.
The Importance of Following a Parenting Time Arrangement
Adhering to the established parenting time arrangement is crucial for several reasons. First, it helps to maintain consistency and stability for the child, which is essential for their emotional well-being. Second, it demonstrates respect for the other parent’s rights and shows the child that both parents are committed to their best interests. Third, deviating from the agreed-upon schedule without a valid reason can lead to legal consequences, such as contempt of court or enforcement of the order.
Addressing Child Resistance to Seeing A Parent
When children resist or refuse to see one parent, it can create significant challenges for both parents. To address this situation effectively, consider the following approaches:
- Open Communication: Maintain open and honest communication with the other parent and your child. Try to understand the reasons behind the child’s resistance and address their concerns calmly and respectfully.
- Seek Professional Help: If the child’s resistance is causing significant emotional distress, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor. They can provide strategies for managing the situation and addressing the child’s underlying issues.
- Involve a Mediator: Mediation can be a helpful tool for resolving parenting time disputes, including those involving child resistance. A neutral third party can facilitate open communication and help parents find a mutually agreeable solution.
- Create a Safe and Comfortable Environment: Ensure the child feels safe and comfortable in both parents’ homes. This may involve changing the environment or creating a sense of familiarity.
- Address Underlying Issues: If the child’s resistance is due to underlying issues such as fear, anxiety, or abuse, seek professional help to address these problems.
Parental Obligations to Enforce Parenting Time
In Ontario, parents are legally obligated to ensure that their children spend time with the other parent according to the parenting time arrangement. This obligation extends even if the child resists or refuses to see the other parent.
If the parenting time arrangement is a court order, a parent who fails to ensure their child complies with the order may be found in contempt of court. Even if the parenting time arrangement is informal, a parent who consistently prevents their child from spending time with the other parent may face legal consequences.
Factors to Consider When Enforcing Parenting Time
When assessing a parent’s obligation to enforce parenting time, courts consider various factors, including the child’s age, maturity, and wishes. If the child is experiencing significant emotional distress or mental health issues, parents may need professional help to address these problems before enforcing parenting time. In some cases, the court may order temporary modifications to the parenting time arrangement to address specific concerns or circumstances.
Strategies for Enforcing Parenting Time
If you’re struggling to enforce parenting time, consider the following strategies:
- Document the Child’s Resistance: Keep a record of the child’s resistance, including dates, times, and specific incidents. This can be helpful in court proceedings.
- Seek Legal Advice to Handle Parental Alienation: If you believe that the other parent is engaging in parental alienation, a form of psychological abuse that involves turning a child against the other parent, seek legal advice and consider involving a child’s best interests assessor.
- Consider a Parenting Coordinator: A parenting coordinator is a neutral third party who can help parents resolve disputes and enforce parenting time arrangements.
- Create a Support Network: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups for emotional support and guidance.
- Consider a Child’s Best Interests Assessment: In some cases, the court may order a child’s best interests assessment to help determine the most appropriate parenting time arrangement.
Specific Considerations for Thanksgiving
When enforcing parenting time over Thanksgiving, it’s essential to consider the following:
- Holiday Traditions: Discuss how you will maintain holiday traditions, such as Thanksgiving dinner or family gatherings.
- Travel Arrangements: If the child will be travelling between parents’ homes, plan for safe and comfortable transportation.
- Gift Exchange: Decide how gifts will be exchanged and whether the child will participate in gift-giving activities at both parents’ homes.
- Emergency Contact Information: Ensure both parents have up-to-date emergency contact information.
Contact Johnson Miller Family Lawyers for Comprehensive Parenting Arrangement Advice in Windsor-Essex County
Enforcing parenting time when children resist or refuse to see one parent can be challenging and emotionally draining. At Johnson Miller Family Lawyers, our knowledgeable family and divorce lawyers help clients understand their legal obligations and rights while always ensuring their children’s best interests are placed first. We help parents maintain open communication and navigate this difficult situation with greater confidence, minimizing the impact on the children involved.
For over 25 years, the Johnson Miller Family Lawyers team has provided compassionate, skilled advice to parents through all elements of separation and divorce, including making arrangements for decision-making responsibility (custody) and parenting time (access). We proudly assist clients throughout Windsor-Essex County and the surrounding areas. To schedule a confidential consultation, please call 519-973-1500 or contact us online.
